Things over heard during Team Reynolds Style request for a residual value with the 24 Hours of Lemons Staff:
Jay: Boys, if you’re thinking about getting a favorable residual and winning this race, then you’re as crazy as he is (Judge Phil).
TRS: Well, maybe so. But you spend four years in this crapcan event, you begin to understand that you’ve only got two things left the judges can’t sweat out of you or beat out of you; your balls. And you better hang onto them, because they’re about the only thing you’re gonna have when you get out of here.
Jay: Whattya got for me, Sunshine?
TRS: I can get you a 1979 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Brougham, a 1978 Chrysler Cordoba, a 1972 Lincoln Continental Mark IV, anything you want. You name it. I’m the best junk yard scavenger in the joint.
Jay: How much of what this guy says he can do, can he do?
Judge Phil: He can get you laid in a 1965 Impala… with a woman.
TRS: Dammit, Jay, I think this residual value is a big mistake.
Jay: Guys, not only will you have the chance to hone your cheating to a fine edge, you’ll also have the opportunity to learn a great deal about life. Why is it, do you suppose, that I can walk through these pits, surrounded by hate, and in total command?
TRS: Because you’ve got 15 corner marshals with black flags all around you that say you can.
TRS: Most of these old racing dogs don’t have nothing. Never had nothing to start with. But you, You had it all. Then you let that Pratt and Miller Camaro race, got yourself caught with your hand in the cookie jar.
Judge Phil: Oh I did, did I?
TRS: Oh I ain’t saying you did or you didn’t. All I’m saying is that you could have given us a better residual, sold dope or stole your grandmother’s pension checks and none of us would have minded. But not docking that E30 more laps, man that’s un-American.
TRS: Well, there he is. Judge Sam, baddest cat in the paddock. Even the marshals are scared of him. He killed three people on the back straight in ’98 and two since he’s been promoted to a judge.
Jay: Yeah, that dive bombing is some bad stuff.
Judge Phil: Oh, that was before he learned to drive.
Jay: Say, what’s he doing now?
TRS: Nobody’s ever had the guts to ask him. Some say… he’s doing the best British motoring show……………………………………………………………………in the world
– Team Reynolds Style
Mike, Andy, & Sebastian