24 Hours of Lemons Team Entry – April 2012 Gingerman
From the offices of Team Reynolds Style:
Our team patriarch, Burt Reynolds, was recently cast in an epic motorsports fable requiring a pilgrimage to Cimmeria. He was accompanied by his body building, gubernatorial, Austrian co-star / sherpa warrior. We told him of our quest to race at Gingerman in April, 2012. Upon hearing the news, he returned. Ever changed, he handed down these words of wisdom to race by:
Combustion and Exhaust come from the sky, from the gods of the sky. But Octane is your god, 85.5 Octane and he lives in the earth. Once, giant Detroit automobiles lived on the Earth, boys. And in the darkness of the ‘70s gas embargoes, they fooled Octane, and they took from him the enigma of high performance. Octane was angered. And Interstate 94 crumbled further. EGR and Catalytic Converters struck down these American giants, and they threw their rods onto the pavement, but in their rage, the Big 3 had forsaken the secret of high performance and left it to the Bavarians. We who rediscovered it are just men. Not SCCA members. Not Chumps. Just men. The secret of high performance has always carried with it a mystery. You must learn its riddle, boys. You must learn its discipline. For no one – no one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not Apex seals.
[Points to shitty 1995 Toyota Celica] This you can trust.
Octane, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good drivers or bad. Why we punted, or why we crashed. All that matters is that our Celica achieved so much against many. That’s what’s important! Valor pleases you, Octane… so grant me one request. Grant me nickels! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you; we’ll switch to bio-diesel!