Project Celica(s)

Last weekend we at Team Reynolds Style competed in our second official and sanctioned racing event: The 24 Hours of Lemons: American Irony Race at Gingerman Raceway in South Haven, MI. (dot com slash the movie II in 3D and based on true events)

Due to a death in the family we were down our best-looking team member so we ran an out-law race with fewer than the “required” number of drivers. (I make up my own rules and then i break those too!)

Turns out Michigan’s West Coast is cold and windy (who knew) and it made for some chilly camping. We tech’ed and practiced on Friday, where the judges for the second year insulted our cheating abilities by not even lifting the hood. Joke’s on us for running a stock engine, I suppose… It was a completely different experience this year with no mad, last second dash to finish the car. Instead we dined on fancy Italian cuisine Friday night and told dirty jokes while those other schlubs worried about things like roll-bar padding and why their train-wreck of a car wouldn’t start. Honestly, it was too cold for that shit anyway.

Saturday was the big day and it started with our fearless leader taking the green flag. After two hours we were in a heady 13th place of 53 when Mike put 4 off (He swears an armadillo ran out onto the track and I’m inclined to believe him) and the resulting black flag dropped us to midpack while waiting for the concession stand girls to whip up 6 hot chocolates for the judges (my $1 tip to “speed it up” was sorely under appreciated). The flying Romanian took over and immediately started earning back those lost positions. The car was turning and stopping like Christ on a bike but the go button was still much devolved from the rest of the pack. Even so, we were back in the top 15 when Seb pulled in for “odd brake pedal feel.”

The oddness, it would seem, was somehow related to the brake fire. (This story ends with Team Reynolds Style back on the track and our neighbors being repayed one fully charged fire extinguisher).

As you, the reader can see now, there is pattern emerging that goes something like this: 1) Make some headway 2) lose it to misfortune. Remember that. After the fir- … Brake problem, we were deep in the numbers, somewhere in the bottom half of the pack. This is when your fearless author stepped up to the wheel and again, started climbing the ladder that so loved to buck us off. I put in my two hours and El Capitan rotated in for another 2 himself. Saturday was free incident for the last half of the day and we ended the day somewhere in high teens/low 20s.

Sunday was supposed to be our day. Sunday was supposed to end differently than it did. When I woke up Sunday, shivering and sore, I KNEW in my heart we could pull a top 10 finish, but It was not meant to be. Seb drove hard but the exhaust header down-pipe let go when the bolts loosened and abandoned ship. 30 minutes later when his driving stint was up, we had to run a NASCAR style tire-swap (you know, without the power tools or training or manpower) as the tires that worked so well yesterday were worn and gnarled today. I took over for the final 3 hours and required 2 unscheduled trips to the pits- once to repair the OTHER exhaust failure (this time requiring tow-truck assistance and a bungee cord) and once because some yahoo in a hack-sawed MR2 tried to occupy a lane i was already occupying. After he pit maneuvered himself on my front clip and spun out, we had to sort it out in front of the judges. Luckily i whooped his monkey ass in a high-heeled foot race (while wearing a wig and a dress, like i do) and was spared the 15 minute sidelining penalty that he suffered.

The final tally for the damages? 21st place. Some Pictures.

(Here’s a shout out to the people who showed up to support. Pretty much all your names start with J.)

-Sleazy C

times 2

Wanted to get this up ASAP – commentary to follow!

Surprisingly using the spring compressor was not the most dangerous activity of the day. That was reserved for my jumping through the garage window, over multiple sharp metal bits, to unlock the garage from the inside.

Needless to say, this was actually one of the dumber things I have done recently but I made the jump with the grace and precision of…a…200 lb Italian… Anyway…

After work, I called my father to tell him I loved him and went off to purchase a spring compressor. Comfortable with the prospect of death by sprung steel is a requirement for buying and using one of these medieval devices and the kid from Autozone measured me carefully and judged my mettle to be ready for such a prospect as the Amex was approved with neigh a whisper.

The disassembly and reassembly of the front shocks was anticlimactic to stay the least. We had more worries about assembling the shocks for mounting in the right direction then any angry noise with the spring compressors.

First, with the springs carefully compressed and secured we removed the top assembly of the strut, separated the spring from the strut and removed the bump stop / travel limiter.

A mandatory trip to the Depot was in order to secure a monkey wrench (pipe wrench?) to be able to tear apart the strut. The replacement gas cylinder would sit where the once oil filled and seal shock was valved. Of course, we didn’t realize it was a liquid strut until Curt pissed gear oil all over the ground while turning the strut over.

After placing the gas cylinder in place, it was a matter of reversing the process – and using the new progressive – lowered springs – and assembly was a snap. As always – doing this with air tools would have been infinitely easier.

Sadly, in the midst of attempting to reassmble the second strut, it was discovered that we had lost the hardware kit for the KYB gas cylinder and would not be able to continue until we received replacements from KYB.

After we discovered that we lost the hardware kit for the other front shock – We went for some low hanging fruit by hanging the other “Manual Locks and Windows” door. That door look familiar to any of you? Maybe the seared and charred sheet metal by the front hinge will jog your memories. The flames of broken dreams and lost innocence haunt me to this very day. Yes Victoria, that is the door from the doomed “Project Celica” of my sorted past. Resurrected from the garden shed of my parents to live possibly a better life than ever before though possible as a vital component of a Lemon’s Race Car. One could only dream of a life so fulfilled. Actually, I ahave been pleasantly surprised at the fitment of both doors, I understand it is from the same series of car but… have you seen the fitment on domestics (shudder). Anyway – that sucker doesn’t have a mirror which can be either left alone or for symmetry – and I am for this solution – we will put the red mirrors back on the car so that they match up.

I’ve decided I’m going to start ending every post with a list of tools purchased and trips taken to give us some tangiable understanding of the hoops that need jumping every god damn time we wrench on this car

Trips and Tools

Autozone – Spring Compressor Set

Home Depot – Pipe Wrench, Easy Out Kit

Injuries and Blood Letting

Mike – None.

Curt – Just his ego after learning I was right about the gas cylinders.

More on this later…..

Curt and I wrapped up a successful evening of purging the wiring system of various systems which are no longer needed and/or no longer resident on the vehicle. The weather in Michigan is currently a nipple chaffing -7 deg F, so working outside seemed like a less than ideal situation, no matter the amount of whiskey offered. Instead we elected to tackle thinning out the wiring harnesses in the comfort of the basement. We were able to, without much difficulty, isolate and remove the following subsystems:

• Air Conditioning / HVAC
• Cruise Control
• Radio / Speakers
• Rear Wiper / Rear Defrost
• Power Windows, Door Locks, Mirrors
• Air Bag System

All and all it was a good day – I was amazed at the amount of wiring that we removed, easily 2/3 of the wiring is now on the cutting room floor – weight savings bitches! There is a little clean up left, we’ll then fit the harness back on the vehicle and re-wrap a lot of it to keep things tidy.

Oh, and another thing, all you chuckle heads out there who are planning on making some kind of burning the car down jokes can save them for next time – Curt covered that quota and a few extra last night… I hate you all….

December was a slow month for the Celica. I blame Mike.

Pros:

-The front sub frame did release it’s death grip on the rusty uni-body

-Front suspension now completely disassembled and ready for un-suck-ification work

-We have a photostream on the Flickr

Cons:

-Air compressor broke hours after purchase

-Wrong struts were shipped

-The rest of the car